Black Tie Reverie

The Apocalypse Suite

Hey guys, long time no blog. Sorry about that — life kinda intervened and things went completely loco. However, my music and my dreams for a future band are still on my mind every day as I try to find some inspiration for what I’m doing.

The good thing is, I found something!

I’ve been getting back into collecting comic books lately, seeing as I now write at least three comics (two of which are comic books along with my webcomic). I found out the hard way that webcomic formats and comic book formats are vastly different in how it’s all laid out and planned out. The only way to relearn how it’s done is to immerse yourself in it and now I have to wonder why I ever quit.

Maybe it’s because I never had much money as a kid.

Either way, I picked up the first collection of The Umbrella Academy (by the super-talented Gerard Way) and fell in love with not only the comic, but the title. It’s like, when I read it, a light turned on in my head.

Thing is, I tend to write a bunch of shit and hope to find a few things that are cohesive and then tie them all together into a lovely little thingymahoozit. Well, I realized that a lot of what I’ve been writing alludes to or somehow parallels the end of the world (namely “The World Ends With You” and “Kingdom Come”) and realized that these along with some of the other things I’ve been working on, all share this theme. So — and this is just an idea — I’m trying to put together eight of these songs and make them into an EP named…you guessed it: The Apocalypse Suite. I think it’ll be incredible if I can get it finished.

Now, I understand and realize that a lot of people pay homage to a lot of other people in a lot of their work, but I really REALLY hope that if this does happen, if this does take off, that Gerard doesn’t hate me forever for it. It’d be a very heart-crushing day if I learned that my idol wishes I would get hit by a truck or something.

Anyway, here’s what I’ve got done of The Apocalypse Suite.

ACT I

1) (Can’t think of what to start it with)

2) The Gathering Storm

3) Kingdom Come**

ACT II

4) The Hinge of Fate

5) (Can’t think of this either)

6) Breaking Dawn*

7) The World Ends With You**

* = First draft

** = Second draft, requires some jam-work

Now, I don’t want to make it be two CDs (I’d get laughed out of…well, anywhere) but I do want to separate it into two acts of sorts. We’ll see how it goes. I’m excited about working on The Apocalypse Suite and hopefully I can get a band together who really wants to make this stuff happen.

But first, finals.

xo.

j

Spring Break Report (and a lot of emo bullshit)

Ahh, the end of spring break. It’s very bittersweet (much like the cookies I just made; mmm). Not nearly long enough, but way too long in other senses. Ach.

It’s been kind of a bummer week, honestly. So many of my good friends were so freakin’ depressed it wasn’t even funny — it was like walking around during a funeral. Vacations aren’t supposed to be shit! They’re supposed to be about laughing, having good times, and making memories. I guess there’s just not a lot of demand for those anymore.

My friends Lucky and Kaelin went to Japan shortly after I arrived back at my parents’ house (I already made the jokes about them not wanting to be in the same country as me, so don’t try it) and I’m extremely proud to announce that they’re engaged. It’s about fucking time if you ask me. Those two may as well be married already, just looking at the two of ‘em. Here’s to you, guys. :) I sort of jokingly called dibs on being the best man at their wedding, but Lucky was like “Sure man. Deal.” I guess I’m a best man now…whatever the hell those do.

Musically, I’m sort of at a standstill. My iPod ran out of battery and me, being the mental giant that I am when it comes to packing, forgot my charger when I dashed out of Columbia. I’d rather forget my underwear than my iPod charger. At least I know I’ve got at least one pair with me. You’d think that a guy with two charging cables would remember to take one, but nooo. I’m Jesse Fucking Cullen — when I forget, I go all the way. I’m so hardcore.

But really, what does that have to do with anything? Well, no iPod means I’m pretty much stuck when it comes to listening to music. Around my parents’ house, it’s all but devoid of music except for when one of Mom’s shows has a soundtrack to it. Other than that? Negatory. I kinda hoped that Chance and Michael would want to jam, but it fell through every time. Spectacular, eh? It’s not like it’s a band practice, seeing as we — or I, rather — don’t have a band. That fact alone bums me out so badly I want to cry.

At this point in my life, I always felt like I’d have a full band that practiced regularly, wrote songs, and would be on our way to playing shows. Hell, playing shows on tour even. God, that’d be fucking fantastic. Is it so hard to get a group of people to play music together? Really? I mean, honestly. You have bands that are made up of people who were friends since high school and now they’re still together, out melting the faces of everybody they come across. Me? I can’t really do that. I live three hours away from the people I knew in high school and, as bad as it sounds, the one guy who I really want in the group is…well, it’s sad.

I sort of figured that if I did come back here, then I’d have at least one person who’d want to be in a band with me, but I don’t think she really wants to talk to me anymore. I keep hearing “Oh no, it’s just ‘cause I’m busy,” or “You know her as well as anyone — do you really think she wouldn’t tell you if you’d done something?” but y’know what? I’ve had to put up with so much bullshit trying to read peoples’ minds over the years that I really have to wonder if I do know any of that junk. It sucks. C’mon people — at least return my fucking calls or tell me you don’t want to hear from me. Just so I know where the fuck I stand.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Whew.

Anyway. The lovebirds ought to be getting into town here in a half hour or so and I have a lot of packing to do before I get to haul my ass back to Columbia in the morning. Fun fun. Best part? It’s snowing.

Yee. I’m not looking forward to driving on that.

…And oh yeah, here are those cookies I was talking about.

xo.

j

Kingdom Come

Kingdom Come — by Jesse J. Cullen

With the world at large/And the kids all around/Is somebody out there/Is somebody watching

Roger that Houston/An angel’s around/But he’s all alone/Will somebody help him/Just lift up a finger

It’s warm tonight all’s out tonight/Will somebody help us/The light’s out tonight God’s out tonight/Is somebody coming?

I’m so tired Mama/Can’t you make it all go/Away from me away from us/Don’t say it’s all like this

So much broken love/And stopping one can’t stop them all/Won’t somebody come for us/Is there something left to save?

It’s warm tonight I’m out tonight/Can somebody help us/The moon’s out tonight God help tonight/Has the kingdom come for you?

Bad Moon Rising

It’s a good night tonight.

Good, that is, if you’re in the mood for your blood to warm up, to get your heart beating a little too easy in your chest. Half fear, half excitement with just a dash of adventure mixed in. I don’t know what it is about nights like tonight, but they just call out to the innermost depths of everyone.

It started when I came home from work, the whole time dreaming about being on stage and rocking out with my good friends — my dreams always fall back to that at one point or another. I run into Chance almost literally (again) when I reach the building, and we stand outside bathed in the warm, balmy air and cigarette smoke talking about the things we usually do: literature, stories, past experiences. We noticed a young punk giving us shit from the safety of a glass door, a young couple fighting on the sidewalk, a group of friends arguing about something or other with only a petite little lady there to try keep the peace.

Everyone fighting. Everyone who isn’t was just looking to start.

One kid, a kinda skinny fellow, was the only one standing there, trying to keep an eye on everyone — especially the fighting couple. The guy knows that he’s the only one there, really. He’s all on his own, but some part of him isn’t going to just go inside and go to bed when he knows that someone’s potentially going to get hurt or hurt someone else when he could try to stop it.

Something about that kept me from winding down for the night. I dropped my stuff off and grabbed my jacket and took over for him. Must’ve walked all across the city, making sure that everyone was okay in my own silent little way. Everywhere, the same little dramas played out. A pair of drunk boys getting ready to fight, a group of young girls complaining and sad about someone or other hurting a friend of theirs.

I was astonished at how unafraid of it I was. Still am, really. I wasn’t worried about me — it was everyone else I was worried for. All this, and music was still on my mind.

I have to do it. It’s what I was bred to do — born to do. In the face of all this adversity and turmoil in the world, everyone at some point or another “will look up and shout ‘Save us!’”

…and I can’t bring myself to whisper “No.” The best I can say is “Wait for me. I’m on my way.”

I can’t play along with everyone else and ignore the dream of being in a rock band, making music, distributing albums, making people who I’ve never met, who I’ll probably never meet — perhaps sitting somewhere on the other side of the world — feel like everything’s alright. Like there’s something good.

Wait for me. I’m on my way.

xo.

J

Album Inspiration Playlist

This is probably the closest thing to what I want the album to just generally feel like. It’s fucking fantastic and makes me happy in the jumblies.*

Take a Bow — Muse

Vengeance — The Protomen

Give ‘Em Hell, Kid — MCR

Map of the Problematique — Muse

Soldier’s Poem — Muse

Funeral for a Son — The Protomen

Glass Dance — The Faint

It’s Not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Death Wish — MCR

The Will of One — The Protomen

The Conductor — The Faint

I Never Told You What I Do For a Living — MCR

Hoodoo — Muse

Damn, if the band made something half as delicious (and twice as cohesive) as this collection of songs, I’d shit my pants with glee.** I originally had Hoodoo and I Never Told You What I Do For a Living switched around with the latter envisioned as something of a hidden track, but this works out so much better in my opinion. Anyhoo. Back to work.

xo.***

J

*Do not ask me about the happiness of my jumblies. It is something that even I fail to understand.

**I do not actually shit my pants with glee. I always make it to the bathroom first.

***xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

Note

…I fucking love the Dalai Lama.

En Français!

Chance et moi avons un appartement! C’est très bon, mais c’est un peu cher. :(

…okay, I’m bored with speaking French in this right now. Maybe when I’m better at it…and have more practice. Who knows. Anyhoo, we did find a great place which we’ll be moving into some time in August, hopefully with Michael in tow (if we can convince him). That’d make things so much easier and better, honestly.

I haven’t really been hit with inspiration for writing lately, so I think I’ll try to expand on some of the snippets I posted earlier.

Random

If I could get away with naming the band The Umbrella Academy, I would.

Damn you Gerard Way. I love you so.